I'm Just Sayin'

I always think I need to write down some of the things that come out of my mouth on a daily basis (no, no - not the sweary-things, the crazy-things-I-never-could-have-contemplated-saying-things).

I mean, I have a MASTER'S DEGREE for God's sake! I'm not bragging, I'm just sayin'. And, yet, below is a small sampling of the things I have actually said out loud. Recently. To another human.

• "Why on Earth would you put shredded cheese up your nose?"
• "Listen, tell me if you have to potty. DO NOT poop in the bathtub."
• "Please don't lick the toilet seat."
• "Stop hissing at the cat."
• "What are you eating and where did you find it?"
• "Hey, let's not eat random things we find in our carseat, okay?"
• "Please take that bucket off your sister's head"
• "Shoes are not for chewing"
• "Okay. You can wear your underwear backwards, but you have to put your pants on with the zipper in the front."

And these are just the things I remember. From the past day or so. I think it's safe to say that nothing goes without saying with kids in the house. I've quickly learned we can never assume they know a rule unless they've heard it out loud. I'm just sayin'.